Swimming as fast as I can to break through this steely gray embracing me, I see no clear outlet. I must break free, from the sand sinking around me. A flash of memory pops up from who knows where. My feet are planted in the sand as the tide rolls in, returning to the sea the tide takes away the sand under my feet. The immediate need, get my balance. because the next wave is coming in.
Today holds so many needs, I know because the list never seems to be accomplished. All on the unfinished list needs to be done, but I have run out of steam. Each item is moved to the next page with hope. Tomorrow I will get through more of the list, writing is my priority. When I was working on the book, Broken but Blessed, each deadline I did not make required me to stop; regroup, reassess, and then react. First the reality is, I always believe I can do more than I can do. Sometimes I have just had to walk away to gain new prospective. I am not giving up, just working on a different schedule that works better for me and those I am working with to complete the book or whatever else it may be.
We have been binge watching the TV show ‘9-1-1’ with a great cast equally a great script. My husband Dan worked as a paramedic many years ago. It is interesting to hear his point of view. First fire and medics must assess what is needed, regrouping quickly to give direction or updates with reassessing what is needed and then put it all into action. Sometimes the action is not enough and additional support is needed, calling in for information about what may have started the emergency.
In the book, Broken but Blessed, I have written of a heartache time for us as a family. Our youngest son, fifteen years old, was in a motorcycle accident, after being life flighted to a major hospital, we drove as quickly as we could to get the 40 miles away, during evening rush hour. Upon getting there, he was in triage the doctor told us frankly the accident is life threatening. Not knowing what to do, I needed to regroup, reassess the situation, and then react. My reaction was instinct. I put my hands up saying, ‘He is your child, Lord, you have gifted him to us. Please don’t take him away.’ I came from the room calmer.
We did not know what was happening on the other side of the doors, but we did not rush into believing he was gone. We did not have sufficient information regarding this sudden unexpected change in our lives. Our reaction was to pray, to let our family know what was happening and wait. We reacted with a short-term plan to stay in the moment. It was all we could do at this time.
Long-term plan became follow him to ICU, prepare for a fifteen-hour surgery, where a great deal of repair was required. We are so thankful for his life; he has had much to overcome since he was left with a brain injury. He has enjoyed a life inclusive of his wife and five children standing next to and loving him. He has had so much love to give. And we have reaped all his love and the love of his family.
The sand shifted when the tide came in and out but we held on to the actual life buoy, our Lord and Savior. We continue to hold on to the buoy because the sand is always shifting.